He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth,
Couldn't help but eye the things that lay about,
Grew to be as cunning as he was debonair,
He was after all the kleptomaniac millionaire.
The trunk of his Bentley was always full,
With a friend's stolen toys, grandma's knitting wool,
When he's around you'd do well to have a spare,
He was after all the kleptomaniac millionaire.
In college he stole his girlfriend's diamond ring,
The very one that he'd given her last spring,
The urge in him grew with every passing year,
He was after all the kleptomaniac millionaire.
When he signed his first million-dollar deal,
He impressed them with his wit and appeal,
But also kept his partner's pen as a souvenir,
He was after all the kleptomaniac millionaire.
The Four Seasons was full at his retirement party,
People raising toasts to this pioneer of industry,
The missing cutlery next day, a testament to his flair,
He was after all the kleptomaniac millionaire.
His games were over, it was his time to go,
The world watched his funeral with sorrow,
The thief had been stolen away, no longer there,
Always and ever, the kleptomaniac millionaire.
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