Inspired by events concerning two of my friends...also by Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker series, which has events not even remotely concerning two of my friends. My first attempt at a funny-ish story, hope u guys at least chuckle...actually, its kind of a weird story, i myself dunno where it's leading...i jus know that i had to write it...
'What the fu-' Vin started, then left it hanging mid-air, as his mouth was in the exact same situation. His name could be Vineet, Vinayak or any others you could think up. He was sitting at a cafe with his friend Sid. Now again, he could be Siddharth, Sidhant, Siddesh. How does it matter? This story is beyond mundane issues like the protagonists' names. This, my friends, is a story about two guys encouraging God.
'Ya dude, we do have applications of integral calculus for tomorrow's math exam' Sid said in an alarmingly offhand way. Now you might think, what's so alarming about having skipped a chapter for a math exam? Well the exam in question is the CET. The Common Entrance Test, for admission to the engineering colleges in the state. Every sonofagun that ever dared dream of becoming an engineer, and too many do nowadays, knew that this exam was his one chance to go big. Of course there were many types of people who wrote the exam:
1. The not-so-bright hard workers, who would be aghast at getting a 4-figure ranking. There were all too many of these, and therefore many of them did end up being aghast.
2. The really smart ones, who didn't really study hard, but were sharp as hell. They'd bunk college to meet their girl, but still top the exams. Honest truth is they did study, but just hid it better. Many of these guys were responsible for those hard-workers being aghast.
3. The really stupid ones, who unlike the first type, had given in to it. All they cared about was which new hookah flavor had been introduced in their cafe, and who was making out with whom, while they were at that cafe.
4. Now we come to the real tragic types, and the focus of this story. The smart guys, not quite as brilliant as type two, but they could've had it all if they wanted to. Only they seemed to have decided not to want it, rather roaming around aimlessly over bridges, listening to music in nondescript lanes, and generally just ruining their future. Vin and Sid most definitely belonged to this group. Both had been among the top 3 in their schools and everyone expected of them. Fate had now found them, sitting in an ice-cream parlor, a day before the CET math test, realizing that they had not studied it all.
'How important is it man?' Vin asked.
'Very. Comes for ten marks. That's like 3000 ranks man, more' Sis replied
'Oh great, so basically what you're saying is that we're fu-'
'Unless you want to rush off home and brush it up now?' Sid interrupted him.
Vin considered it. Really did. ' All right man. Toss a coin. Heads we go, tails we stay' he said placidly.
And placidly Sid flipped a coin. It turned up heads. He looked up at Vin quizzically.
After a pause Vin said, 'Oh alright, best of three!' They both laughed, and Sid flipped it again. It turned heads again. Vin thought for a while, and finally managed to piece together an argument.
'Look, we left our decision to chance because we didn't know what we wanted. But when we saw the outcome, somewhere within us we disagreed with it. That means we do know what we want. So what was the point of this exercise? Obviously we don't want to go home, so should we, just because a coin said so? Chill man, let's just relax and make sure we do the other parts well. Anyways we can't finish a chapter entirely in a day'
'I knew you were going to say that Vin. I'd have been surprised if you would have agreed to go on home' Sid sighed. 'So what do you plan we do now?' he added tiredly, as they paid the bill, got up and were getting out on the street.
'We've got to think about how we can still ace this exam without learning that chapter. You know there's a possibility that we might unknowingly tick the right answers for the questions they ask from applications? There's no negative marking anyways...' Vin offered.
Sid did not like to fantasize about improbable things. He did not think that he could do well without studying. Unlike Vin, he had reconciled to the fact that he had indeed wasted an opportunity and was heading for a disaster tomorrow. 'Dude it's pissing off when you sometimes talk crap like that. You know there's not a chance in fu-'
'Unless you know, we really encouraged God to help us' Vin halted him mid-way. 'You know how people always pray to him and ask him stuff? See maybe, he doesn't want their pleading, their whining, their constant requests. You know, maybe somewhere deep within him, he just wants someone to reassure him, to encourage him, to tell him that he can do it. That's what we need to do, encourage God'
'Do you have any idea what you're talking? No I mean, you're blabbering some utterly incomprehensible crap. Where the hell did God come into this? And encourage Him? Dude are you okay?'
Vin had a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was seeing something that Sid wasn't. And then slowly he muttered.
'Go God! Go God! Go God!...seriously man, all He needs is a little push, a little reassurance. See how he'll make sure that we own the exam tomorrow! Come on, join me'
'Yeah man, we're going to own tomorrow's exam...and then there'll be cows flying, giving us the answers about our future uh? Now stop this shit, and let's talk about how we're going to get out of this fu-'
He never got to complete his sentence, because at that very moment, something big and white crashed into the house they were walking past, kicking up a big cloud of dust. They jumped back, waiting to see what would emerge. And out of the cloud, walked out...
A cow. Dusting its body, as it muttered to itself in perfect English, '...knew I should have veered the tail a bit more to the right...Oh hey you two! I'm Harold. What's up?'
It looked at their faces, open in wonderment and shock, and laughed. 'Okay seriously, you guys need to get over the flying cows bit. We've been doing that for a long time now, only every time a human sees it for the first time, it's like his world crashes around him. For devil's sake, why don't you notice things a little more? Not only can cows fly, they can hear others' thoughts as well, especially the really strong ones. Fact is, every animal has certain qualities that you guys haven't figured out. For example starfish are excellent ballroom dancers, the meerkats can play a mean ukulele. And don't even get me started on squirrels...'
'Say what?' was all Vin could manage, before his mind got all muddled again.
'Well didn't your friend here say he wanted to see flying cows and answers about tomorrow's result? Well here I am. Come on then, I don't have much time. Listen to me carefully: The answer you seek lies under the seventh rock under the seventh tree to the left side in the seventh cross road, on this main road. Isn't this where you guys hang out all the time, while you should be in class? Well it should be easy to find it then. You got all that down? All right then, got to get back to the farm, the old man's got to milk me again...toodles!'
And it took off, just like that, with a blast of hot air from its behind propelling it forward.
Sid looked at Vin and after a long time, finally asked. 'Did that just happen?'
'I think it did. So do you want to check out that place it spoke about?' Vin just realized that he had mentioned a speaking cow, and at present his mind wanted to focus more on the message than the messenger. Something told him madness lay that way...'What say Sid?'
After a long pause, in which Sid's mind had made the same decisions as Vin's, he said,
'Go God...'
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